fmadrlj | Doushite Tsumi ga aru no darou? Doushite batsu ga aru no darou?

*...He shouldn't have gone to the cemetery. That was the worst place to go, especially with his mind racing like this. A mind idle, without time to ponder life and death, especially with so much time to attain knowledge, tends to go into dangerous places fast when you let it. He had been thinking dangerous thoughts lately as it was.

...

What if he could stay?

If he could stay here, would he?

Did he want to go back, just to suffer through dying over and over again?

What if in this world, he could grow old and die, without any real repercussions?

Dangerous thoughts went to dangerous deeds. Hands that didn't touch alcohol were touching it by the shotful, drop after precious drop downed down a parched throat.

If it had meant to remove the dangerous thoughts, it did. But instead it made for a man not used to extreme amounts of alcohol leaning against a wall, panting heavily with a face flushed enough to resemble...something red and not cliche.*

{OOC: Yes, have a drunk!Fons. But be warned...any Eds that come in contact will probably be gromped on sight. >_>}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...l-l-loved you?!

*He wants to pull away, but doing so would more than likely result in Alfons falling to the ground. Instead he leads him in the direction of a convenient bench.*

What are you saying?

......................................................................

Y'don't remember.

.........................................

*Alfons sits, quiet, for a few moments...instead of being guided by Ed's touch.*

......Y'lived with me. I took care 'f you. Always did. 'Cause I wanted to. 'Cause I loved you. 'Cause I still love you.

But y'didn't know. Never knew th't I died.

*Ed sits next to him, but not exactly next to him, and stares ahead as Alfons rambles drunkenly.*

I... never met you before all this started happening. I couldn't remember anything like that.

Alfons, you...

*Hell, he doesn't even know what the correct way to react to this is.*

.......

*Alfons nods, something akin to a puppy. His eyes start to water, tears brimming on the eges, face creased, looking older than he was. Much, much older. But still vulnerable...*

....S'fine. Y'not the Ed I know. Not the one I...

B-But y'still...

Care.

Y'still care 'bout me.

Of-of course I care about you. You... I mean...

*He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, and tries to come up with something that'll work.*

Don't get so worked up, I mean, you'll find your Ed who remembers, I know it.

........Maybe.

Almost found 'im...but it wasn't 'im.

.....

...............................................

Thanks.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

...

Fuck.

*He's torn between offering a hug and... not offering a hug. He's not sure which would be better, so he kind of just puts an arm around Alfons's shoulders.*

S'fine.

*Alfons leans against him, nuzzling his neck and bringing his arms around him, hugging him tight.*

...Comfy.

*Yeah, y'know how Alfons is all red-faced from the booze? Ed's face matches his, now.*

..................

D'you think 'm lyin'?

No. I don't. *Still not really clear on what exactly he's saying, to be honest. But he pats his shoulder reassuringly.*

Nobody be'lives me. Nobody.

...That other Ed sked me 'what' I was...s'if I wasn't human.

..............................

'm human, right?

I believe you. *Or would, if he knew what he was supposed to believe.*

Course you're human. And if you weren't, that's not your fault, is it?

.....................

Thanks. Keep dyin' over and over...not gonna anymore. Gonna get it right.

...

But gotta keep repeating 'til I do. 'Sat still make me human?

Humans always mess up and keep making the same mistakes. It's moving past that and trying to fix those mistakes that makes us human.

Keep fixing 'em.

'Not right. More happen.

Can never get it right...

It's never easy. It's definitely not gonna happen the first time you try.

But there's always a way.

......

'll appen 'ventually...but...

'aven't 'appened yet.

It'll happen.

Tried 'n' died 57 times...

Gon' be a while...

You died... fifty-seven times?

*Alfons nods.*

'member how I died, too.

Go' crushed, 'mpaled, 'tabbed, beaten, 'rowned...and...

*To hell with it, this one-armed-sort-of-shoulder-hug is an all-out hug now.*

*Alfons hugs him back, though isn't quite sure WHY he's hugging him. I mean...the Edwards went through tough times, right? In comparison to what they went through, his pain was nothing.*

*Alfons can think that all he likes, not gonna change the fact that Ed at least hasn't died.*

You should get home. You're in no state to be out like this.