(no subject)

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

.........

I don't...........

I don't think I can take this anymore.

Comments

[elricism.livejournal.com]

Alfons?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

......!!!!!

*Alfons glances up, expression shocked and almost hopeful for a moment. His eyes sparked with something, something...but then it faded when he saw Edward's face. He knows he isn't...it isn't Edward. Not the one he knows, but...

He looks down, smiling thinly.*

...This consistent repeat of events. Living, dying...only to come back and die again.

[elricism.livejournal.com]

*He doesn't like that expression. He walks over to Al and wraps his arms around him with a small sigh.*

You won't die again. I won't let that happen.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

That's the point. I will die. I always die. Something kills me, someone murders me...

Edward, I've been ripped limb from limb while I was still alive. I've been crushed, beaten, lynched, hanged, drowned, shot, stabbed, burned...

I'm tired. I'm so tired.

I can't kill myself, either. I've tried.

Whatever God has set me to...whatever this is, it's.......

It's certainly not a generous one.

...

*Alfons leans into the embrace as much as he can. He knows it's not HIS Edward, but it's AN Edward. And God, he's missed the closeness.*

[elricism.livejournal.com]

I'm going to keep you safe. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to lose you aga.....

*He stops himself quickly when he realizes what he almost finished saying.*

I'm not going to let you die again. I won't.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

.......

*Alfons smiles a tiny bit, if not a bit sadly.*

.......You said that then, too. When I had told you.

But I ended up dying the next day.

1/2

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

*blink*

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

You-you what?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

..................................

Alphonse, I didn't want you to know this...

.................................................................

It's my curse. I die, but I get reborn, only to remember all the events preceding my death.

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

...that's what your curse is then......


...I... I'm sorry.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

..........It's fine..............

...I've grown used to it over time. It's nothing...

It's nothing.

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

That's not what you said a few minutes ago... if that's what you were talking about....

Fons can't bring himself to upset Als T_T

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

..........

I....................

Re: Fons can't bring himself to upset Als T_T

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

There is a way to break every curse. You know that, right?

Even if there's side effects that can't be reverted, the curse itself must always either be stoppable, or have a counter-curse....

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

What's wrong?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

................................It's.......................................

I don't want to upset you, Alphonse.

[otouto-al.livejournal.com]

It's fine, really.

*reassuring smile*

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

...take what, pretty?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

......Dying.

Living and dying, over and over in a cycle. No matter how many times I die, I just get revived as a child again, forced to relive different timelines until...

...I manage to prevent the catastrophe that's supposed to befall my world.

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

Oh. I do the same thing, but I come back the same age. Tragic, really, but it's quite horrible to be brought back as a child and do it all over again.

[headtilt] And how are you supposed to do that?

So you are not human, then?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

Yes. When I started, I was only seventeen...Now I'm over three hundred years old. Things are like routine...very few worlds are different, and when they are, they all end the same anyway.

...*Alfons sighs.*

I don't know. I've tried many methods, but none seem to work. Somehow I have to bring someone back to their world, while preventing my own world from going into theirs. It's a very long, complicated story...each time ending with me being killed--murdered, more often than not. I remember each thing I do wrong in each world, so I've tried various means to...

....

But the most simple solutions are always the most painful failures.

....

*He laughs, though it's humorless and empty.*

At this point, I don't know. I always thought I was a normal human, but thinking about it, maybe I'm not. I'm unable to permanently die, but forced to remember every death that I have...I'm unable to commit suicide, and I can't end the cycle myself...

[1/2]

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

And now you are tired of it all. A way out you cannot find, pretty? How cruel.

[he tries to feel sad for him, he really does, but empathy is a human trait that he never gets the grasp of - ]

[2/2]

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

[so he lets the other take over. dealing with another immortal isn't just as fun as dealing with humans.]

Well, you just have to keep on moving forward. There's nothing much I can say, and frankly, I suck at these kinds of ...comforting and. And.

...

[throws up hands in frustration]

Re: [2/2]

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

........It's fine. Don't worry about it.

I'll find a way out--if only to make a future where he's finally happy. That's what I want most for him.

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

How can't I not worry about it? You're a fellow...sort-of--living being. Being cursed like that is even worse than being a homunculus, I think.

...him? [raises eyebrow] Oh?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

...I'm used to it. And you do learn a good bit while being like this...if not the powerlessness of a single person, and the difficulty that arises out of changing the entire future alone.


...The Edward from my world.

[corrupted-steel.livejournal.com]

That's not something you - you get used to. And if you're stuck here, how'll you...?

...

Never mind, stupid question. Is the - your Noa here? The one who's responsible for this?

[snort] All this for him? [feels kind of jealous] He's a pretty lucky guy, then.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

If I'm stuck here, I'll just revive here, and repeat the process until I get back to my world.

...

No. No she isn't. If she was...she would have already killed me by now. I'm sure of that much.


....*Alfons flushes a bit.*

...Yes. Without Edward there, I would have gone crazy. I wouldn't say he's lucky since I die each time, but I will say that I was lucky to have him by my side.

[nemoubliepas.livejournal.com]

....are du okay?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

...................

For the most part?

[nemoubliepas.livejournal.com]

*sighs*

Ja, I suppose du could only be, so much...with...was du have seen. *shakes head*

umm...I never apologized für the last time, so...
Es tut mir leid.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

...It's fine. Really, it's okay.

I would have had the same reaction...if I was in your shoes. So really...it's fine.

[nemoubliepas.livejournal.com]

...if du are sure. ist was still very rude of me.

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm positive.

Trust me, it's fine.

[nemoubliepas.livejournal.com]

Das ist gut, then.

[hei-anbeterin.livejournal.com]

Did... did something happen?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

It's...

it's nothing to worry about.

I'm sorry--I hope I didn't trouble you.

[hei-anbeterin.livejournal.com]

Of course you did. I'm a Fletcher.

Are you sure? If there's anything I can do to help...

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

...

You're a very sweet young lady.

But no, it's okay. I've just been thinking out loud.

*Alfons gives her a soft smile, though a sad one.*

[hei-anbeterin.livejournal.com]

Th-thank you, Herr Heiderich, but... I just want to make sure you're okay.

You... are okay, right?

[alfonsrepeats.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry if I worried you.

[hei-anbeterin.livejournal.com]

O-okay. If you're sure.